Goal disease

I'm done with ethics.

I should clarify. I'm done with the MBA ethics class. And by "done" I mean the class is over, not "I'm so done with the idea of ethics that I no longer want to have any." I still want to have ethics. Jeez, back off.

If nothing else, I learned a lot of really impressive words that other people smarter than I already knew. But I did a lot of thinking over the past few months, some of it intentional. I'm struck by a term: teleopathy. No, this is (unfortunately) not the ability to read people's minds, nor is it the ability of a U.S. government administration to spy on citizens' telephone records (like that would ever happen). Teleopathy is "the unbalanced pursuit of purpose or objectives by either individuals or organizations." It's also referred to as "goal disease" — focusing so much on achieving certain goals without considering the ethical or social impacts of such focus. BP, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Arthur Andersen, Enron, Bernie... We can think of lots of business examples. People focus on a goal, rationalize inappropriate or unethical behavior, detach themselves from the situation, and make really bad decisions. Is it possible to see teleopathy in practice in our lives, even when we're focused on things that are good?

Yup.

When Liz was diagnosed with cancer I made a deal with myself: I wouldn't say "no" to my kids. Relax, I'm not talking about a parenting discipline edict. I mean that if they ask to do something with me, to spend time together, to play, throw a ball, ride a bike, anything that requires me to exert the little energy I have left, I'll say "yes."

Fail.

I've been rationalizing my laziness to play with the boys due to my exhaustion from helping out at home, watching out for Liz, getting up with the boys at night, working and studying. But even just sitting with the boys for a few minutes while Jensen plays cars and Cohen draws pictures means the world to them. They're happier, they listen better, they respond more grownuply when asked to help. And I've been missing out on these chances at quality time because of my own teleopathy: so focused on beating cancer that I'm missing out on many of the moments I can take advantage of. Time to say "yes" some more.

It was so good having Trudy at our home, and the boys miss her already. All of them do. She got Eli to talk to her (and beg...see photos below), and the big boys loved how active she kept them.

Liz isn't doing great, but one day at a time. It's a chore for her to even come downstairs once a day. But it's #5 now, and #6 is coming quickly... We're more hopeful than ever.

Go Team Liz.