Stupid songs

Cohen couldn't sleep last night. "Nuffing" was wrong, he just "couldn't sleep." I finally asked him what was going on in his brain that kept him awake. He said, "I know sumping that's bothering me. Does mom still have the bad symptoms in her body?"

Yes, but you're safe, and we're working with great doctors to get mom all better.

Extra hugs...

The time changed today. I never remember the meaning of "spring ahead" or "fall back" or "just deal with it and you'll get used to the time change in a few days." I wish that we could spring ahead in months, not minutes.

It felt a bit awkward at church today. Other people shouldn't have to feel the burden to treat us a certain way or worry about saying the right or wrong things. Ultimately, we'd just like to find a way to keep feeling "normal" for as long as possible. And it's a strange sensation to feel bad for people who feel bad for Liz and they don't know what to say because they're sad that we feel bad. Good people there, but I still felt like fleeing, almost like I could hear the heavenly cancer center harp resonating in the sterile halls of my mind. RUN AWAY! So instead of the music in my head, I focused on other music today.

Whenever Liz and I see a heartwarming or emotional story on television that makes our eyes well up with tears, we look at each other and say "stupid show." Helps me feel manlier, like I'm only crying because I yawned or my eyes only watered because I got punched in the face. Well, the same thing happened to me during the opening hymn and during the choir number today at church (not the punch in the face part, but the teary-eyed part).

Stupid song 1:

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;
Lead thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home;
Lead thou me on!
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

Stupid song 2:

When sore trials came upon you,
Did you think to pray?
When your soul was full of sorrow,
Balm of Gilead did you borrow
At the gates of day?
Oh, how praying rests the weary!
Prayer will change the night to day.
So, when life gets dark and dreary,
Don't forget to pray.

Music has always been a part of my life, part of my identity. It has helped heal me, brought me closer to God. It helps me scream at the world and cheer people on. And today, it helped strengthen my knowledge that God is mindful of us. Even when bad things happen.

Oh, and music makes Jensen dance.

Stupid songs.